Random Kaguya x Mokou
by TouhouLoveStories
Summary: Mokou wakes up to find Keine stalking her in her house, so she runs to Eientei. When she arrives, she finds that Tewi decided it would be okay to smash Eientei to bits. Rated M for sexual content.


**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN TOUHOU PROJECT!**

** Kaguya x Mokou...I love this pairing! Enjoy!**

"La-la-la-la! RUNNING AROUND EIENTEI! WRECKING THE HOOOOOUUUUSSSSEEEE!" Tewi screamed, smashing her hammer into every wall she could find.

"GOD DAMN IT! TEWI! STOP FUCKING UP THE HOUSE! DO YOU REALIZE HOW MUCH THIS IS GOING TO COST TO REPAIR?" Reisen yelled at Tewi.

Tewi stopped destroying Eientei for a moment. "No, not really." And then she went back to smashing.

Meanwhile, Kaguya, who can sleep through _almost _anything, was sleeping in her room. Even though it was already 2:00 in the afternoon, Kaguya was _still _sleeping. But Tewi's stupid hammer woke her up.

"Damn it," Kaguya mumbled, rubbing her eyes. "What the fuck is wrong now? Is Mokou wrecking Eientei?"

Tewi's hammer smashed Kaguya's door open and Tewi came running in.

"OH, GOOD MORNING! OR SHOULD I SAY, GOOD AFTERNOON! THERE ARE WAFFLES IN THE KITCHEN IF YOU WANT ANY! OH YEAH, AND IF YOU SEE ANY HOLES IN THE WALL, DON'T WORRY! THOSE WERE MADE BY MEEEEE!" Tewi exclaimed, and then ran out of Kaguya's room.

_What kind of drugs is she on? _Kaguya thought to herself. _Oh yeah. I'm not supposed to care, since Eirin only tests her shady drugs on the rabbits. _

**-Somewhere in the middle of The Bamboo Forest Of The Lost-**

"rIse and shInE mOkoU!" Keine exclaimed cheerfully, ripping the covers off of Mokou's bed.

Mokou opened her eyes and saw Keine staring down at her. "GAAAH! WHAT THE FUCK, KEINE?" Mokou exclaimed, jumping out of bed. She was wearing a long t-shirt and basketball shorts with nothing else on.

"I'm your stalker, Mokou! And guess what?" Keine asked excitedly. She smashed her lips against Mokou's. "I LOVE YOU!"

"FUCK!" Mokou cried, jumping away from Keine. She quickly grabbed some clothes and ran into the kitchen, locking her bedroom door behind her so that way Keine couldn't get out.

"MOKOU! I LOVE YOU! YOU CAN'T ESCAPE FROM mEEEEE!" Keine shouted from behind the door.

_Phew, _Mokou thought, ripping off her clothes and throwing her day clothes on. _That was close!_

Mokou ran out her front door and ran away from her house. _Hmm...maybe I'll go mess with Kaguya. She's stupid, _Mokou thought to herself as she leapt into the air, taking flight. She flew over The Bamboo Forest Of The Lost, watching the wind move the trees around below her.

When Mokou FINALLY arrived at Eientei (she got lost a couple, NO, A TON of times), she was surprised to find multiple holes in the main structure. Reisen ran out of Eientei, screaming as Tewi chased her with a hammer.

Eirin came out of Eientei and greeted Mokou. "Greetings, Mokou. What brings you here?" Eirin asked her.

"I came to see what Kaguya is up to. I'm bored. Also, what's wrong with your rabbits?" Mokou asked the doctor.

"Well, Tewi and Reisen got into the drug supply and Tewi accidentally ate some kind of drug in there. Now Tewi is high and believes that smashing our walls with her hammer is totally okay," Eirin responded calmly.

"Oh. Okay."

"Do you need me to prepare any tea?" Eirin asked Mokou.

"That would be great, thank you," Mokou replied, and then walked into Eientei toward Kaguya's room.

Mokou knocked.

"WHO IS IT? I'M TRYING TO BEAT THIS fUCKING hArD lEVEL!" Kaguya replied. "GOD FUCKING DAMN IT! I TOLD YOU, EIRIN, NO INTERRUPTIONS!"

"It's me," Mokou said through the door.

"Mokou? What the hell are you doing here? Come on in, it's a Saturday. I'm taking the day off from killing you," Kaguya answered.

Mokou opened the door and stepped inside. There were multiple electronic devices scattered all over the room with video games piled up in one corner. There was even a slice of pizza on the floor!

"OH SWEET!" Mokou exclaimed, spotting the pizza and picking it up. "FLOOOOOORRRRR PPPPIIIIIIZZAAAAA!" She exclaimed, wolfing down the slice.

"Ah, man! Mokou! Why'd you have to eat that? I was saving it for breakfast tomorrow!" Kaguya whined, turning away from the screen. She had turned off the video game and was now rising from the floor.

"Sorry...didn't know that you liked floor pizza too," Mokou apologized.

"Yeah, it's okay. I probably wouldn't have thought that I liked floor pizza either. Wait...WHAT?" Kaguya replied.

Suddenly, knocking!

"OOOH! A VICTI-I MEAN-OOOH! A VISITOR!" Kaguya exclaimed. "I WONDER WHO IT IS..."

"Kaguya, open up the fucking door. I have tea for you and Mokou," Eirin said impatiently through the door.

"Hey, couldn't you have just went through one of the holes in the wall?" Mokou asked Eirin, opening up the door and taking the tray of tea.

"Uh...yeah, I guess. Well, I'm off to create more harmful drugs!" And Eirin walked down the hall. She had kind of a waddle to her walk, you know? She was walking like an old lady. Kind of. I don't know how to explain the way she was walking.

Mokou set the tray on the floor in front of Kaguya and sat down across from her, taking a glass of tea into her hand. Suddenly, something she felt that was very important to discuss came to her mind.

"Hey, why do we always drink tea? I mean, shouldn't we drink something else besides tea and alcohol?" Mokou asked Kaguya.

This was something that Kaguya never thought of before. "That's actually a good question. We all only drink tea and alcohol besides water," Kaguya replied.

Mokou sighed. "Oh well. Doesn't matter." She sipped her tea, and as she was sipping her tea, she looked across at Kaguya and noticed some white stuff floating around in the bottom of Kaguya's glass. Kaguya drained the whole glass quickly, drinking the white stuff, and then slammed the drink down, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand. "Ah...that's good stuff," Kaguya sighed happily.

"K-Kaguya? There was some strange stuff at the bottom of your drink...and you drank it," Mokou informed Kaguya. She downed her glass as well, forgetting about the white stuff for about 5 seconds.

"What do you mean, 'white stuff'? What did it look like?" Kaguya asked Mokou.

"Well...it kind of looked like a sample of some of Eirin's shady drugs."

"GOD FUCKING DAMN IT! WHAT THE HELL DID I DRINK!?" Kaguya exclaimed.

"I don't know...but I drank it too. So we'll probably both die and then regenerate. Or something," Mokou stated.

"Mokou, this is bad!" Kaguya exclaimed, shaking her head. "What are we going to do? What was the drug? What if-"

"OH MY GOD, PLEASE STOP PANICKING! Look, okay, maybe we were just forced into drinking some random drug, but you need to pull yourself together!"

"Mokou," Kaguya said slowly. "I think I know what she put in the tea."

"What?"

"An extremely strong aphrodisiac," Kaguya replied.

"WHAAAAAAAAAT!?" Mokou exclaimed, shocked. "WHY WOULD SHE DO THAT!?"

"I don't know. Hey, I wonder if it kicked in yet. Let's check..." Kaguya crept toward Mokou with a strange smile on her face. She then proceeded to pull Mokou's pants off.

"HEY! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING!?" Mokou exclaimed as Kaguya pulled off her underwear. She gasped as cold air blew over her vagina.

"Shhh...it's okay, Mokou...I bet I could do better than Keine at this..." Kaguya whispered as she began to tease Mokou by drawing her hands up the pheonix-girl's thighs.

"Keine and I don't do this stuff! She's just a creepy stalker girl..." Mokou said defiantly.

"Oh, so you were in love with me all along? Ah, Mokou, you're so sweet!" Kaguya giggled as she traced her fingers right over Mokou's clit.

"GOD DAMN! THAT FEELS SO GOOD, KAGUYA! AHHH!" Mokou moaned passionately.

Suddenly, the door opened!  
"Oh, I see. The aphrodisiac kicked in! Well, I better get going. I have a lot of customers to deal with," Eirin stated. She walked away from the door, closing it behind her. But then the door opened again. "Oh, and Mokou, there's a creepy stalker girl in the waiting room. She says that she needs to fuck you right now," Eirin informed the two girls. Then she left, for real this time.

"That must be Keine. Gosh, why did I ever become friends with that girl?"

"Shh...just let me make you feel goooood..." Kaguya said softly. She kissed Mokou passionately as she rubbed Mokou's spot, inserting a finger into the phoenix-girl.

Mokou moaned as Kaguya inserted 2 more fingers inside of her. Kaguya began to finger-fuck her slowly, causing Mokou to cry out.

Then the door opened. Again.

"hEllO, mOKou!" Keine exclaimed, staring at the two girls. Then an angry expression crossed her face. "Wait a minute...WHY ARE YOU FUCKING WITH KAGUYA?! YOU SHOULD BE WITH mEEEE!" Keine exclaimed, storming in and ripping Kaguya off Mokou.

"Shhh...Keine, honey, I think you need to learn a lesson today. I love Mokou, and you don't," Kaguya whispered softly.

"nO! MOKOU IS mIIIIIINNNNNEEEEEEEE!" Keine whined.

"EIRIN! YOU CAN HAVE KEINE FOR DRUG TESTING!" Mokou called to the "doctor".

Eirin came running in, looking excited. "OH, KEINE! WE'RE GOING TO HAVE SOOOOO MUCH FUN!" Eirin said energetically, dragging Keine away, shaking her butt as she walked like an old lady.

"Shit, that was close!" Kaguya stated. "Anyway, back to you, Mokou..."

**-Later-**

"Gosh, I had a great time, Kaguya," Mokou said to the black-haired girl. The aphrodisiac had FINALLY worn off, and Mokou was feeling a little drowsy.

"Yeah, but now we have to play Touhou Project games! Here, use this computer," Kaguya ordered Mokou.

"Okay..."

"I'm REALLY good at Touhou Project games. I played the 8th one and I had to fight some girl named Mokou, and she was JUST LIKE YOU!" Kaguya told Mokou.

"Wow...maybe she's my cross-dimension counterpart!" Mokou exclaimed excitedly, clapping her hands. Unfortunately, she ended up setting the computer in front of her on fire.

"Oh. Damn, that was a good model. Oh well, I can just get a new one, since I'm so fucking rich," Kaguya told Mokou.

"How'd you get so rich, anyway?" Mokou asked her.

"I dunno. I did a bunch of stuff and people paid me," she replied.

**-Later (again)-**

"GOD DAMN IT! I CAN'T GET PASSED THE FIRST LEVEL!" Mokou yelled, slamming the computer onto the ground. "Oops," Mokou said.

"I can't either," Kaguya told her. They were both playing on easy mode, and they were both Reimu. "Fuck, I think my skills have dried out," Kaguya whispered.

Suddenly, Remilia appeared in the doorway with Flandre following close behind.

"A wild Flandre and Remilia have appeared! What do you do? FIGHT OR FLEE?!" Tewi said randomly. She was also following Remilia.

"Damn it! It's you two again! What the hell do you want?" Kaguya asked Remilia.

"We've come to show you how to play Touhou Project games," Remilia told her.

"LYK A BOSS!" Flandre and Tewi cheered, shoving Kaguya and Mokou out of the way. Apparently, Kaguya has a stockpile of computers in her room, so there were enough computers for Remilia, Tewi, and Flandre. Except they wouldn't let Kaguya or Mokou play.

"Damn, they've taken over. C'mon, Mokou. Let's go see what Eirin is doing," Kaguya told her.

"Okay."

As they walked down the dark and scary hallway (it was night time), Kaguya held Mokou's hand because she was afraid of the dark. Kaguya was so afraid that she pissed her pants, so Mokou had to get one of the rabbits to clean it up.

When they finally arrived at Eirin's testing lab, they opened the door to find Eirin feeding Keine some kind of drug. Suddenly, Keine turned into a turtle!

"Hey, why is Keine a turtle?" Mokou asked.

"I dunno. She just came out that way," Eirin replied, inserted yet another drug into Keine. This caused her to turn purple, Kaguya and Mokou's least favorite color.

"Hey, quick question. Why isn't there a rainbow youkai? I mean, we have a motherfucking frog goddess, but no rainbow youkai?" Kaguya asked Eirin.

"Yeah, actually we do have a rainbow youkai. I think her name is China," Mokou informed Kaguya.

"Oh. I was just about to go on Yahoo! Answers and ask that question," Kaguya said.

"So...why did you ask that question?"

"I honestly don't know," Kaguya replied.

"Um...okay. Anyway, why is Keine a turtle?" Mokou asked Eirin.

"Because she's annoying. Anyway, here's your new pet turtle!" Eirin told Mokou, handing her the Keine-turtle thing.

"NOOO! KEINE COULD STALK ME EVEN MORE IF SHE LIVED IN MY HOUSE!" Mokou exclaimed, jumping away.

Too late.

Keine-turtle thing fell to the floor. And died.

"Ah, man! It took me FOREVER to turn her into a turtle! And she was a much better drug-test thing than Reisen!" Eirin whined.

Suddenly, Tewi randomly rushed in. "QUICK! WE NEED TO BURRY IT!" She said, grabbing the dead turtle and running out of the room.

Then she came running back.

"Oh yeah, I forgot to tell y'all that Remi, Flan and I all finished the Touhou Project games! Even the PC-98 ones! Anyway, bye. I'm going to go burry this thing," Tewi stated, rushing out of the room once more.

"Okaaay...that was weird in the faaaaaace..." Eirin said.

"Okay. Cool thanks, byeeeeee!"

And then Mokou and Kaguya ran out of the room to go "help" Tewi burry the turtle. Actually, they just ended up standing around talking to each other while Tewi did all the dirty work.

"Damn, it's done!" Tewi told the two girls.

Kaguya and Mokou looked at the little grave that she made. She had even included a tombstone, which read:

_RIP, Keine-turtle thing._

_You were something very stupid that Eirin made._

_I hope that you get along with Shiki Eiki. She's a sassy buttball._

"Wonderful, Tewi. Simply wonderful," Mokou told the little rabbit.

"THANK YOU! 'Kay, cool thanks, BYEEEEE!" And then Tewi ran off into the night, hammer slung over her shoulder. Mokou and Kaguya saw a tall bamboo stalk catch on fire and they knew that the fire had been caused by Tewi.

Suddenly, Mokou felt Kaguya's lips on hers. It wasn't too strong of a force, wasn't to light, but it was just the right amount of pressure on her lips that made Mokou's heart swell up.

When they broke away, they were panting from lack of air.

"Kaguya?" Mokou asked the black-haired girl.

"Mmm?"

Mokou kissed her softly on the lips. "I love you."

"AWWWWW! SO CUTE! QUICK, FLAN, GET MY CAMERA! THIS IS SO GOING ON INSTAGRAM!" Remilia screamed.

"YOU LEFT YOUR PHONE AT HOME, REMEMBER?" Flandre yelled back.

"WHY ARE WE SCREAMING?" Tewi exclaimed.

"I DON'T KNOW!" Flandre yelled in reply.

Suddenly, Mokou felt Kaguya tugging her to her bedroom. She opened the door and the two girls stepped inside Kaguya's room. Mokou breathed a sigh of relief whenever the door shut.

"Mokou. I love you too," Kaguya whispered.

Suddenly, the door opened.

"UGH! WHEN WILL WE EVER _NOT _BE INTERRUPTED BY SOMEONE?!" Kaguya yelled angrily.

"Oh, it's just me, Eirin. Come on, you're my new test subjects!"

"WHAT!? What happened to Reisen!?" Kaguya asked the old lady.

"The slave-I MEAN-the rabbit ran away," Eirin replied.

"LET GO OF ME, YOU OLD HAG!" Mokou yelled. "I DON'T WANT TO BE A TURTLE!"

"Yeah, let her go!" Remilia said from somewhere.

Mokou burned Eirin's hand off and took Kaguya by the arm. They ran out the door together, into the night, leaving 3 giggling girls and an old lady behind.

**Yeah, this one was pretty derpy! I'll be writing better Fanfics in the future ;)**

** Thanks for reading!**


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